I want to be a Nurse

I'm on 'interprofessional experience week' at the minute. I've been spending my time shadowing nurses, support workers, phlebotamists, dieticians, healthcare assistants and occasionally, a doctor or two. I've been trying to keep my distance from them in case they ask me anything I don't know. Because actually, it turns out there's an awful lot I don't know. I've lost all confidence in my abilities as a medical student; everyone else seems to be able to ramble off some scientific gobbledegook at the appropriate moment and I just nod and smile. All drug names that I've ever come across roll into one, and the only thing I can remember is whether or not I've written out repeat prescriptions for them at the doctors surgery I worked at two-and-a-half years ago. I have absolutely no idea what I'm expected to have learnt over the past two years, where all this knowledge has run away to and how I'm supposed to get it back.

I have realised that I quite like nursing. I like spending time with the patients, the idea of them calling you by your name and being comfortable enough to tell you things without necessarily expecting you to know the answers. I like the routine tasks, like making hospital beds and dishing out lunches. And after this summer, I can deal with urine, faeces and bed-bathing old people. I like the sense of sorority amongst the staff team, and the bitching about the doctors (because they really do).

I think I'm in the wrong profession. Tomorrow I'm shadowing a social worker, and I think I'll like that one too. Speech and language therapy looks interesting. Anything but medicine right now.

Responsibilities

I am feeling old.

It is Freshers week. Everyone is young and carefree, and I have been in a bad mood. This has been caused by a number of factors, including:

a) It's dandelion season. That's daddy-long-legs to anyone but me. I have a complete phobia, and there was one in the car with me the other day. I cried. Which leads me to...

b) Emotions. I am incredibly fluctuant at the moment, with giggle fits and crying in public becoming increasingly common. Unknown origin, hoping to dear god I'm not pregnant.

c) Getting up on Sunday morning to discover my tyres had been slashed, then having to cancel my home care shift in order to sit in Kwik Fit and have the pleasure of paying them to fix it. Conveniently linked to...

d) Lack of money. I got my loan in August, and as I am terrible with money I have spent most of it. I earnt a small fortune this summer, what with my two summer schools (thinking about it, only one has paid me... hmmm), casual work on campus, and washing old ladies for 15 hours a day. I'm still well below the zero mark. Sigh.

There've been a few other minor things too. I think it's all getting a bit much at the moment. Perhaps starting back at uni (and being a third year 'student doctor') is just taking some getting used to. I had to learn to take bloods the other day. Bearing in mind I was scared of the video where they showed someone taking blood from a fake rubber arm, I've not been looking forward to having to do it on real people! On Monday I start what used to be known as 'nursing week' but is now known as 'interprofessional experience'. I'm really looking forward to it, despite being on Renal Medicine and hating anything to do with kidneys. I recently did my training to be an HCA, and was absolutely appalled by how little I learnt, therefore I am going to utilise this week to shadow someone and find out what the hell I'm supposed to do when I turn up for my first shift.

Here's to hoping they don't make me do anything important...