Yes, so it's a little late...

I appreciate that resolutions are meant to be made on January 1st, but I was hungover then. So when I sat down to attempt to start revision with some equally dedicated colleagues, we skipped the work part and made lists of how to be better. Here goes...

New Year’s Resolutions

Be elegantly inebriated – no accidental sexual hiccoughs, bad text messages or conversation that will be regrettable the following morning.

Replace some 5th/Tarts nights out with classy Northern Quarter visits with aim of meeting new people and securing at least one date (however bad) a month.

Aim to reduce caloric intake from alcohol and avoid particular drinks that may cause “lairy” behaviour or any other undesired effect.

Do minimum of two exercise sessions a week (dancing in clubs does not count, even if thighs hurt the next day from acrobatic, over-ambitious porn-star-esque moves).

No skiving due to hangovers, regardless of epic boy trauma, notification of clinical partners whilst under the influence (of alcohol and/or each other), or fabulously concocted excuses.

Be aloof, poised, fabulous and sophisticated with not a hint of bitterness (at least when not in the privacy of our own homes).

Live within our means. There is no justification for £18 bottles of Jack Daniels, eight pairs of new shoes in two weeks even if they are in the sale, or ridiculous items from the kitchenware aisle of Tesco.

Aim to eat three proper and healthy meals a day. Cut out late night fast food and overpriced deli sandwiches (just because you can’t be arsed to make a packed lunch) and eat at least four portions of fruit and veg a day. Plus, drink loads and loads of water and green tea, cos it’s good for you.


To summarise… drink less and be better.

Also, do not allow oneself to be led astray by less dedicated members of the trio.

(The 8 pairs of shoes were mine. But they were really pretty...)